Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
