I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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