Duck Duck Cougar?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
