I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
