I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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