He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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