She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
