i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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