We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
