no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
