Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
