Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
