Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
