yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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