Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
