you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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