the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
