So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
