the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
pray to the hookup gods
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
