im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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