its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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