you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
