"it" just moved
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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