Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
