Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Your cock deserves a montage
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
