just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
