i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't deserve a penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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