this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
