Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
