Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
