i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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