There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
