Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
