Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
