ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
