I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
