If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
