Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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