never play flip cup with pint glasses
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
