South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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