Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
