He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
