I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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