Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
