dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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