Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
