i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
