Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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