respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
