This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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