Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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