i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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