Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
